Citat - Om att hitta de rätta orden

I have always been a plodder
a person who anguishes
and struggles
over each sentence
and even on my best day
I do not accomplish more than an inch
crawling on my belly
like a man lost in the desert

The smallest word
is surrounded by acres of silence for me
and even after I manage
to get that word down on the page
it seems to sit there like a mirage
a speck of doubt
glimmering in the sand

Language was never accessible to me
like it was for Sachs
I’m shut off from my own thought
trapped in a no mans land between feeling and articulation
and no matter how hard I try
to express myself
I can rarely come up with more
than a confused
stammer

Sachs never had any of these difficulties
Words and things matched up for him
whereas for me
they are constantly breaking apart
flying off
in a hundred different directions

I spend most of my time
picking up the pieces
and gluing them back together
but Sachs
never had to stumble around like that
hunting down the garbage dumps
and trash bins
wondering if I hadn’t fit the wrong pieces next to each other

His uncertainties
were of a different order
but no matter how hard life became for him
words were never his problem

The act of writing
was remarkably
free of pain
for him